Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
