i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
