you have to choose: penises or morals?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
