true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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