You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Houston, we have a squirter
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
