don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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