I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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