Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize