I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
