Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
