I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize