Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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