Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize