Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
