I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
