Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
