I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
