Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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