you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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