ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
