I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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