Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
