oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
