He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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