The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
