you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
