I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
