My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
