we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize