i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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