GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
