You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
