This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize