My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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