can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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