I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
