I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
