I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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