Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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