Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
