He asked to "fluff my boner.."
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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