Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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