Sry I called you an 8
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
