I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
