As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize