How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
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You. Win. At. Life.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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