Only a mothe r could love this liver
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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