But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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