the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
