Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
