so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
