It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
