do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
