am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We have so much sex to catch up on
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
