Midget sex pt 2 tonight
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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