i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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