I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
