It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
