im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
