I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
