they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
