I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Let's get the cat blown out
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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