Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Terrible idea I love it
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
